tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36925113113835727312024-03-08T14:10:23.870-08:00The Superlative of LyricismA compilation of my poetryJennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-78694847939794431482015-05-07T18:10:00.000-07:002015-05-07T18:10:06.922-07:00D-ribose as treatment for fibromyalgiaI was diagnosed with fibromyalgia almost 3 years ago. I recently read about d-ribose supplements being helpful in managing some of the symptoms. There is not a lot of information out there so I thought posting my little experiment might be helpful to those looking into it as a treatment option.
I thought I'd share my 2 week findings:
I mix d-ribose powder into a drink 3x a day. I have done it for 15 days now. More importantly, I did it during my week long flare. I've had lots of nerve pain in my shoulders in the days that followed that interfered with being able to tell if I was feeling any better because who feels better with nerve pain?? Anyway, now that it has subsided I have noticed the following:
In short, I still have fibromyalgia but it helps!
In long:
1) I get things done faster.
I do my dishes while the kids eat lunch. I used to barely load the dishwasher in my allotted time. Now I load it with time to spare. I imagine I can do more repetitious movements before the pain kicks in, which is what slows me down. We're talking 25 minutes down to 15. So I guess we can say endurance is better but minimally. Enough though,to make a difference in my housework.
2) I recover.
I try to explain to my husband that normally you would wear yourself out, go to sleep and wake up feeling better. For me I would wear myself out, wake up feeling every bit (sometimes more) of the previous day and then add onto it all day long, go to bed, wake up having had two days worth of wear and tear, feeling no better and no more recovered from the initial exertion, etc.
Just within the last week I have started to recover. Previously a shopping trip and a walk on the same day would put me couch ridden and in major pain for up to 3 days. Now it put me out (just as painfully) for the rest of the day BUT I woke up the next day in about the same state as before the shopping trip. This is a big deal! To prove my theory I exercised. Yes, yes I did. On an elliptical. And I did it for 5 minutes with resistance. And within a few hours I told My husband that I may have accidentally paralyzed myself. That was yesterday and today I vacuumed and did a 3yr old's haircut. And I have a cold. That is proof beyond all doubt, to me, that it is improving the recovery time of my muscles.
3) I am down 3 pounds
I have not been able to shift my weight any way but up in quite some time. I'm hoping reasons 1&2 will help increase my activity level and turn things around for me. Here's hoping!
This is the one I am taking:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00GK618M2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-81800713080033241272012-04-19T08:30:00.001-07:002012-04-19T08:33:28.511-07:00RelentlessAnother sleepless night<br />Here comes the dawn<br />No rest in sight<br />All help is gone<br /> <br />There's the mean sun <br />It's about to get rough<br />The work is never done<br />Already done enough<br /> <br />Must answer the call<br />Do the balancing act<br />Handle it all<br />Do not react<br /> <br />Take what is handed<br />Give only peace back<br />Do what is demanded<br />Try not to crack<br /> <br />The day is complete<br />Headache drums<br />Admit defeat<br />Tomorrow still comesJennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-48025928076343046162010-08-28T20:26:00.000-07:002010-08-28T20:45:14.734-07:00That Pesky SpotYou're the unsightly stain on my best tablecloth.<br />No matter how hard I scrub I can't get you off.<br />He's coming to dinner and you cannot show.<br />It's our first date, and he doesn't know.<br />I do my best to keep you from sight,<br />with distracting centerpieces and dim candle light.<br />But when the dishes are cleared, it was all done in vain.<br />You're in plain view, and I flood with shame.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-83991800636667689202010-04-18T21:06:00.001-07:002010-04-19T08:55:58.999-07:00Till Death Do Us PartShe has breakfast ready, even on a Monday.<br />He takes a few bites and then drives away.<br />Her wave at the window goes unobserved.<br />She puts on her apron, ready to serve.<br />She washes the dishes and clears the table,<br />She folds all the clothes that she is able.<br />She hangs his pants just the way he likes it,<br />Then hand sews that pair of jeans he split.<br />Just when she thinks the day is too long,<br />The radio plays their old love song.<br />She checks the clock, he’ll be home soon<br />As she puts on her dress she hums that tune.<br />She makes the dinner, it’s his favorite meal.<br />Asparagus, potatoes, and a lovely veal.<br />The candles are lit, the table is set.<br />It’s quarter to eight and he’s not home yet.<br />The candles dwindle, the food goes cold<br />Her disappointment remains untold.<br />After an hour of worry he finally shows,<br />He walks right by and mutters hello. <br />He kicks off his shoes and despite her plea,<br />Waves her aside and flips on the TV.<br />Alone in the kitchen she throws the dinner away,<br />Trying to pretend everything is ok.<br />He climbs the stairs without a word said,<br />Leaving the TV on, he heads up to bed.<br />She stays behind and turns it off.<br />Picks up his coat, his shoes, and his socks.<br />She puts out the lights and the tears start to fall,<br />She quiets herself as she nears the hall.<br />Though the emptiness is hard to bear,<br />There is something worse than solitaire,<br />The thing that truly breaks her heart<br />Is that she is in this <span style="font-style:italic;">till death do us part.<br /></span>Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-6389178256441207302010-04-14T08:52:00.000-07:002010-04-14T11:08:15.177-07:00The Nourishing TreeThe newly risen sun rays fell upon a valley so pristine<br />Making dewdrops glisten on the grass so evergreen.<br />A songbird greets the morning with a joyous heartfelt tune.<br />The brilliant flowers wake and each present their bloom.<br />Nestled in this luscious life is a youthful, vibrant tree.<br />Though surrounded by this Eden, she found herself lonely.<br />Her fruit was in abundance and her leaves so full and bright,<br />She wanted to share her harvest and bring others delight.<br /><br />As if the heavens listened, the glen was filled with laughter.<br />Two children danced about with their father chasing after.<br />The three wearied quickly from the heat the sun had made<br />Delightedly She called them near, so pleased to give them shade.<br />The children expressed hunger to their empty handed dad<br />She eagerly fed them all the fruit she had.<br /><br />Dusk settled on the valley, chilling the gentle breeze.<br />She offered them her branches, “Take as many as you please”<br />The father cut them one by one and built a glowing fire.<br />The children nestled near it, listening to the insect choir.<br />While the little ones warmed themselves the dad set out to see<br />If he could build a home with the remainder of the tree.<br />The father was successful and called the children near<br />The tree now sheltered all that She held dear<br /><br />The fire burned to embers, all were sound asleep<br />In the silence of the night the tree began to weep<br />For gone were the days of blossoms and bees.<br />Gone were the hours of leisure and ease.<br /><br /><br />John 15:13<br />Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-10707351669443140132010-04-13T12:30:00.000-07:002010-04-13T12:59:52.070-07:00Baby Bliss<div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-align: left; font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I hea<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">R</span> music in her lovely laughter</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">I see wonder in her bright blue eyes</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">I feel heaven in her hugs</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">And unbearable heartache when she cries</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">She is the quintessence of beaut<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Y</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">With a softness in her smile</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">There is trust in her tiny touch</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">She is everything worthwhi<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">L</span>e</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">She is the best part of m<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">E</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">I see such hope in her face</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">She is proof there is a God</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;">The epitome of grace.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I</span> love to lay beside her</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-align: left; font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">as she drifts off to sleep</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >I brush aside those tawny strands</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >She is the perfect picture of peace.</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Thou<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">G</span>h the world is calling </span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >I could not bear to miss</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >One single moment </span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Of t<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">H</span>is, my Baby Bliss.</span><br /></div>Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-2672540589073867142010-03-19T16:11:00.001-07:002010-03-24T07:57:01.929-07:00EdgarMy legs are like sticks, and I have eight.<br />I scurry across the floor, it's getting late.<br />The room is so big and I am quite small.<br />Gliding quickly to the safety of the wall.<br />A girl walks in and sees me there,<br />She's small and loud with straw colored hair.<br />Skipping toward me she whispers my name,<br />Staring at me for hours, every night is the same.<br />I stay there until "Goodnight" is said,<br />the girl climbs slowly into her bed.<br />Lights go out and the world is mine.<br />Sneaking about, the night is divine!<br />I crawl around here and there<br />I'm sure I've been nearly everywhere.<br />I manage to climb up onto the bed.<br />Slowly I creep on the sleeping girl's head.<br />She begins to stir so I stand still,<br />Then move through her hair to the window sill.<br />Back across her pillow, I hurry by fast.<br />I'm not sure how long the dark will last.<br />Rushing to the corner, I stumble,<br />I roll and take a tumble.<br />Pain invades my heaven.<br />My eight legs are now only seven.<br />Staggering to the corner, the girl now peers at me.<br />Watching me struggle. Something's wrong she sees.<br />A big white paper zooms at my face.<br />It scares me bad and away I race.<br />Faster it comes and then speed decreases.<br />It hits me hard and I fall to pieces.<br />Why she hurt me, she'll never say.<br />Now in three different sections I lay.<br />I think my legs are by the stairs,<br />and where my head is no one cares.<br />I don't know how long my consciousness will stay,<br />'cuz she stepped on my cephalothorax while walking away.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-32211219348042427042010-03-19T15:59:00.000-07:002010-03-19T16:28:53.943-07:00After the RainLike the dark stormy clouds,<br />I cry for you.<br />Like the ear splitting thunder,<br />My world shatters in two.<br />Like a break in the clouds,<br />You're a ray of hope to me.<br />Like the sun showing through,<br />You're the only light I see.<br />Like small drops of sunshine,<br />you trickle down.<br />Like the clearing sky,<br />You take away my frown.<br />Like the raindrops on petals,<br />I fall for you.<br />Like the butterfly that glides,<br />my sadness is through.<br />Like the golden rays of sun,<br />I feel you near.<br />Like the songs of the birds,<br />you're all I hear.<br />Like the clear blue sky,<br />You're all I see.<br />Like the colorful rainbow,<br />You still amaze me.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-59435478241281532842010-03-19T15:49:00.000-07:002010-03-19T16:10:34.148-07:00The Cedar Stump Still StandsA cedar tree stood strong and stout, unmoving to the breeze.<br />Though it was a pretty sight, it made a poor man sneeze.<br />So tired of the suffering, the man took out his knife.<br />He walked up to the tree with the intent to take it's life.<br />Attempting to cut off a branch, he stuck the blade in deep.<br />It did not break the sturdy limb because the knife was weak.<br />Determined to claim victory, the man retrieved a saw.<br />He severed off the sound tree trunk and stripped the black bark raw.<br />Now he needed to destroy the stump that still had stayed.<br />Fire scorched the smoky wood, a flame flickered, danced, and played.<br />Blades and blaze and saws and loppers did not tear it down.<br />It stayed safely in the soil, by roots this stump was bound.<br />Saintly as a sermon, untouched by this man's hands,<br />there is nothing he can do, for the cedar stump still stands.<br />Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if we could likewise be<br />rooted to our faith like the stump of the cedar tree.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-33365032928747823122010-03-19T15:22:00.000-07:002010-03-19T16:06:51.953-07:00Old vs. NewUp on the shelf, brand new and all white,<br />the little girl looked with pure delight.<br />White and fluffy cute as can be,<br />this one was better than hers, she could see.<br />Clutching a bear, all tattered and torn,<br />compared to the new one, who's fur wasn't worn.<br />She wanted the new, but loved the old. <br />Which one to choose she was never told.<br />So she thought very hard, and let out a sigh<br />as she kissed the old and said goodbye.<br />Taking the new one she giggled and played,<br />until her new friend had started to fade.<br />It wasn't as soft, though it looked very fine.<br />She missed her old friend she had known for all time.<br />The old now lay cold in a gutter somewhere,<br />rain soaked and crying with no one to care.<br />Confused at the sudden lack of love,<br />missing the sweet girl's soft little hug.<br />Same as the old, the girl soon regrets<br />the loss of the friend she will never forget.<br />She cannot return to the place where it lay,<br />for the lack of courage and words to say.<br />So the New and the old continue to dance<br />while she's wishing she gave the old one a chance.<br />While playing outside with her brand new toy,<br />she wishes she had at least some joy.<br />I miss the old, she thinks on the lawn.<br />A little too late, for her friend is now gone.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-38595892611884059842010-03-19T15:01:00.000-07:002010-03-19T15:18:02.433-07:00ForgottenI wish I were forgotten just to be left alone,<br />yet there they are at my door and on my telephone.<br />Telling how I've hurt them and told them lots of lies.<br />Now they're torn and broken, living in their ruined lives.<br />Because of me they suffer, though I do not think so.<br />It's 'cause of their own actions that I turn to go.<br />Dealing with my memory, they say they can't go on.<br />Wishing I were theirs, can't face that I have gone.<br />Blame flows like an avalanche falling on my shoulders.<br />A heavy, torturous thing, feeling much like boulders.<br />I am close to God and that is what they need,<br />but they never listened, to my words they did not heed.<br />So for the sake of happiness, I finally choose to run,<br />then their hearts just fall apart, their souls have come undone.<br />It's all your fault you stupid girl, say the ones who lost.<br />Now because I left them I begin to pay the cost.<br />Day after day the story comes in of how he cannot last,<br />how he wishes he had not allowed me to slip past.<br />It's all my fault their lives are gone, so they all say.<br />The blame pours in, and in, and in, each and every day.<br />It's NOT my fault, I scream at them, that you can't handle me.<br />Why can't I be forgotten, why can't you all just see?<br />It's <span style="font-style:italic;">your</span> doings that brought us here so far from happiness.<br />You miss my voice, my scent, my mind, my little sweet caress.<br />If I stayed my dreams would die, for you are not the one.<br />I can do much better than you and still have all my fun.<br />I do not need the guilt you give for it is not for me.<br />For the pain you caused us all, you shall pay the fee.<br />I won't be there anymore on those days you need to cry.<br />I won't take this crap from you on me you can't rely.<br />Deal with it without me, for I've forgotten you,<br />and if you ask me, you should do the same thing too.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-65461229868483799962010-03-19T14:48:00.000-07:002010-03-24T07:55:38.071-07:00From Pieces to Shreds (to be read after Pieces)She gives him her all, timid at first<br />the love inside could almost burst.<br />Heaven on Earth is what she found<br />around his finger she was tightly wound.<br />His touch was soft, his eyes were kind<br />a more perfect match you could not find.<br /><br />His gentle touch was soon replaced<br />by hard words and an angry face.<br />Her angel was changed before her eyes<br />from an honest man to a monster who lies.<br />The man she knew was revealed as fake.<br />She prayed from this nightmare she would wake.<br /><br />For the next four weeks he would get his gain<br />by feeding off her fear, her tears and her pain.<br />Finally he snapped, he sharpened his claws<br />piercing screams erupt from deadly jaws.<br />He waits till she's alone then rips her to shreds,<br />the once white walls are now splattered with red.<br />With one swift motion he tears her apart,<br />taking with him her still beating heart.<br />he holds it up with a victory screech,<br />and sucks the heart dry like a demonic leech.<br />He slinks away with her heart in his hand,<br />the blood thirsty demon who once was a man.<br /><br />The room is now empty, there is no light.<br />The air has in it a frigid bite.<br />She lays on the floor, her breath is slowing,<br />out of a gaping hole her blood is flowing.<br />Torn and weak she lies on the tile,<br />finally dying from a year of defile.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-54232283023983201832010-03-19T14:32:00.000-07:002010-03-19T14:45:50.646-07:00PiecesMy heart lies bleeding in pieces in the rain,<br />broken and shattered from all of the pain.<br />Someone was careless with a precious thing,<br />now I'm in pieces while the careless one sings.<br />He played with my heart like it were a toy,<br />a smooth talking, heartless, wicked boy.<br />He loved me so dearly, so he said.<br />It's boys like this I wish were dead.<br />The kind that meddle with unsuspecting hearts,<br />then all at once tear their worlds apart.<br />Hearts that need and want and feel,<br />crumple and fall, into a kneel.<br />The devils take advantage of,<br />the sweet everlasting, untouched love.<br />They try to tempt the clean and pure,<br />using their charm as a seductive lure.<br />Once in the trap I cannot evade.<br />To this boy's love, I become enslaved.<br />Trusting wholeheartedly the one who is nigh,<br />when all he does is tell lie after lie.<br />Time and again I get stuck in this trap.<br />and every time I don't want to come back.<br />Liking the love, basking in the bliss,<br />I am too often warned of devils who do this.<br />Yet time after time I fall victim to this deceit,<br />They have me in their palm, out of their hand I eat.<br />I give my all and they tease and they play,<br />Then comes the time when it all goes away.<br />I think it is true, I think it is real,<br />but soon enough I will begin to feel<br />feel the pain of my broken heart,<br />the one that the devil has just torn apart.<br />Now my heart bursts, and severs and shatters.<br />Nothing in the world really seems to matter.<br />Time moves on as I'm hurt and bleeding,<br />now my soul, with me, is pleading.<br />Asking for rest from this tortuous phase,<br />I do as it says and get out of the maze.<br />My heart grows cold from years of fraud.<br />Now no man, to me, looks like a god.<br />For times are hard and feelings phony,<br />but never again will this girl be lonely.<br />I have hidden my feelings and turned away<br />from all of the evil that still wants to play.<br />Never again will I put myself there,<br />back in that place that has only false care.<br />From this time on I will not get attached<br />attached to the devil who would sooner attack.<br />Free from the bonds of this horrible way,<br />there is a pain that still seems to stay,<br />one that is constant and refuses to leave.<br />Unto the boys it still wants to cleave.<br />though this pain will always be hissing,<br />no matter how much belonging I'm missing,<br />for my return they have not a chance.<br />My heart and soul will sit out this dance.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3692511311383572731.post-22901058593802264272010-03-19T13:58:00.000-07:002010-03-19T14:46:05.106-07:00StrugglesThey think of me, a troubled soul<br />one who thrives on violence and gore.<br />Hopeless, rebellious, and evil they see,<br />even though all it is, is just me.<br />Me who is trying to do what is right,<br />trying to win the battle which I fight.<br />Try as I may, they do not help out,<br />finding my fault in my moments of doubt.<br />The Light is weak and I struggle to hold fast<br />to the One who keeps me from repeating my past.<br />The people look down on me still as I try,<br />judging and punishing. I just want to cry.<br />They do nothing but damage the strength that I build<br />with their hard words my faith is what they've killed.<br />Day after day the struggle goes on.<br />After a hard night I awake to a new dawn,<br />where only I find the ones who tear me down,<br />the ones who turn my weak smile to a frown.<br />Though I try my best to do what they say,<br />there are times in my life when my acts start to stray.<br />I pull myself back, with all of my might,<br />only to be welcomed by a loved one's bite.<br />The struggle continues, week after week.<br />Soon they will see what it's like to be meek.<br />They don't know the way it feels to be sad,<br />outcast, spit upon, it makes me so mad.<br />They don't see the real me, the one crying inside.<br />The things I feel, in no one can I confide.<br />They don't believe a t hing that I say,<br />They turn their backs and hearts away.<br />Away from the troubled rebellious soul,<br />the one who will burn like a small charred coal.<br />Burn in a way that no one should know,<br />the one who compared to all is so LOW.<br />It is just me, I try to explain,<br />but the hate on their faces is still so plain.<br />The despising looks on the church goers faces,<br />follows me into my safest places.<br />Always known as the snake that slithers,<br />slowly this small girl fades and withers.Jennifer Howehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17666494587989868995noreply@blogger.com0