Forgotten

I wish I were forgotten just to be left alone,
yet there they are at my door and on my telephone.
Telling how I've hurt them and told them lots of lies.
Now they're torn and broken, living in their ruined lives.
Because of me they suffer, though I do not think so.
It's 'cause of their own actions that I turn to go.
Dealing with my memory, they say they can't go on.
Wishing I were theirs, can't face that I have gone.
Blame flows like an avalanche falling on my shoulders.
A heavy, torturous thing, feeling much like boulders.
I am close to God and that is what they need,
but they never listened, to my words they did not heed.
So for the sake of happiness, I finally choose to run,
then their hearts just fall apart, their souls have come undone.
It's all your fault you stupid girl, say the ones who lost.
Now because I left them I begin to pay the cost.
Day after day the story comes in of how he cannot last,
how he wishes he had not allowed me to slip past.
It's all my fault their lives are gone, so they all say.
The blame pours in, and in, and in, each and every day.
It's NOT my fault, I scream at them, that you can't handle me.
Why can't I be forgotten, why can't you all just see?
It's your doings that brought us here so far from happiness.
You miss my voice, my scent, my mind, my little sweet caress.
If I stayed my dreams would die, for you are not the one.
I can do much better than you and still have all my fun.
I do not need the guilt you give for it is not for me.
For the pain you caused us all, you shall pay the fee.
I won't be there anymore on those days you need to cry.
I won't take this crap from you on me you can't rely.
Deal with it without me, for I've forgotten you,
and if you ask me, you should do the same thing too.

From Pieces to Shreds (to be read after Pieces)

She gives him her all, timid at first
the love inside could almost burst.
Heaven on Earth is what she found
around his finger she was tightly wound.
His touch was soft, his eyes were kind
a more perfect match you could not find.

His gentle touch was soon replaced
by hard words and an angry face.
Her angel was changed before her eyes
from an honest man to a monster who lies.
The man she knew was revealed as fake.
She prayed from this nightmare she would wake.

For the next four weeks he would get his gain
by feeding off her fear, her tears and her pain.
Finally he snapped, he sharpened his claws
piercing screams erupt from deadly jaws.
He waits till she's alone then rips her to shreds,
the once white walls are now splattered with red.
With one swift motion he tears her apart,
taking with him her still beating heart.
he holds it up with a victory screech,
and sucks the heart dry like a demonic leech.
He slinks away with her heart in his hand,
the blood thirsty demon who once was a man.

The room is now empty, there is no light.
The air has in it a frigid bite.
She lays on the floor, her breath is slowing,
out of a gaping hole her blood is flowing.
Torn and weak she lies on the tile,
finally dying from a year of defile.

Pieces

My heart lies bleeding in pieces in the rain,
broken and shattered from all of the pain.
Someone was careless with a precious thing,
now I'm in pieces while the careless one sings.
He played with my heart like it were a toy,
a smooth talking, heartless, wicked boy.
He loved me so dearly, so he said.
It's boys like this I wish were dead.
The kind that meddle with unsuspecting hearts,
then all at once tear their worlds apart.
Hearts that need and want and feel,
crumple and fall, into a kneel.
The devils take advantage of,
the sweet everlasting, untouched love.
They try to tempt the clean and pure,
using their charm as a seductive lure.
Once in the trap I cannot evade.
To this boy's love, I become enslaved.
Trusting wholeheartedly the one who is nigh,
when all he does is tell lie after lie.
Time and again I get stuck in this trap.
and every time I don't want to come back.
Liking the love, basking in the bliss,
I am too often warned of devils who do this.
Yet time after time I fall victim to this deceit,
They have me in their palm, out of their hand I eat.
I give my all and they tease and they play,
Then comes the time when it all goes away.
I think it is true, I think it is real,
but soon enough I will begin to feel
feel the pain of my broken heart,
the one that the devil has just torn apart.
Now my heart bursts, and severs and shatters.
Nothing in the world really seems to matter.
Time moves on as I'm hurt and bleeding,
now my soul, with me, is pleading.
Asking for rest from this tortuous phase,
I do as it says and get out of the maze.
My heart grows cold from years of fraud.
Now no man, to me, looks like a god.
For times are hard and feelings phony,
but never again will this girl be lonely.
I have hidden my feelings and turned away
from all of the evil that still wants to play.
Never again will I put myself there,
back in that place that has only false care.
From this time on I will not get attached
attached to the devil who would sooner attack.
Free from the bonds of this horrible way,
there is a pain that still seems to stay,
one that is constant and refuses to leave.
Unto the boys it still wants to cleave.
though this pain will always be hissing,
no matter how much belonging I'm missing,
for my return they have not a chance.
My heart and soul will sit out this dance.

Struggles

They think of me, a troubled soul
one who thrives on violence and gore.
Hopeless, rebellious, and evil they see,
even though all it is, is just me.
Me who is trying to do what is right,
trying to win the battle which I fight.
Try as I may, they do not help out,
finding my fault in my moments of doubt.
The Light is weak and I struggle to hold fast
to the One who keeps me from repeating my past.
The people look down on me still as I try,
judging and punishing. I just want to cry.
They do nothing but damage the strength that I build
with their hard words my faith is what they've killed.
Day after day the struggle goes on.
After a hard night I awake to a new dawn,
where only I find the ones who tear me down,
the ones who turn my weak smile to a frown.
Though I try my best to do what they say,
there are times in my life when my acts start to stray.
I pull myself back, with all of my might,
only to be welcomed by a loved one's bite.
The struggle continues, week after week.
Soon they will see what it's like to be meek.
They don't know the way it feels to be sad,
outcast, spit upon, it makes me so mad.
They don't see the real me, the one crying inside.
The things I feel, in no one can I confide.
They don't believe a t hing that I say,
They turn their backs and hearts away.
Away from the troubled rebellious soul,
the one who will burn like a small charred coal.
Burn in a way that no one should know,
the one who compared to all is so LOW.
It is just me, I try to explain,
but the hate on their faces is still so plain.
The despising looks on the church goers faces,
follows me into my safest places.
Always known as the snake that slithers,
slowly this small girl fades and withers.